Who Are We...?

Hello folks! How's everybody doing? Chillin like villains, I suppose? Great. It's been a while I was active on here, and I apologise for my unsanctioned disappearing act. Life took over, I guess. Oh well, I hope all my 'numerous' readers didn't miss me too much, did y'all? .. [oh, and by 'numerous' readers, I mean all 3 of them!] Lol.

Anyways, with that out of the way, let's delve right into the meat of the matter. So yeah, since the last time I had an article up, lots of interesting 'happenings' have occurred in and around our dear nation, Nigeria. Happenings that I admit, I really should have written about at the time.. But I guess a man is allowed to be lazy every once in a while, yeah? Just kidding. {Not really}..  Nonetheless, the bullet-points of some of these interesting 'happenings' can be summarised as follows:-

• Nigeria's centenary celebrations, along with the various arguments for its merits and demerits.
• The Anti-gay law and its ensuing controversy.
•  The conferment of a somewhat toothless national conference, the political permutations for the forthcoming elections, the allegations and counter accusations of gross financial misappropriations between the federal government and the central bank, and the gradual perception of stagnant governance by the general masses. {Jeez, even writing all that plenty grammar for those bloody thieves we call leaders has gotten me vexed right now!}
• The Immigration recruitment travesty {which was secretly a dastardly way of reducing the population of the employable youths....by luring them inside stadiums and killing half of them. For real.} Well done oo, dear leaders, una try well well. Clap for yourselves. Clowns.
• Tragic bombings here and there which have almost become part of our daily lives, sadly.
• My birthday in March...... {Yes? What's that? Is there a problem? Why the smug look on your face? Oh, my birthday doesn't classify as an interesting happening? Wait, you think I shouldn't write an article celebrating my birthday and congratulating myself for my continued survival in this our 'bomby' country? Well, if you think continued existence and survival in Naija is easy, ask Borno state residents!}
• And finally, the sordid story of the kidnapped Chibok girls. Yeah, that reminds me, while we're at it, kindly #BringBackOurGirls#

Yup. Did I forget any other thing? I sincerely hope not, because any more happenings would be simply too much to bear even if we were the Israelites in a Canaan paradise and the biblical Moses was our leader ....  Actually, I probably forgot to mention some other happenings such as the (non)availability of basic amenities like electricity, fuel, and other social infrastructure. Smh. But for now, let's just pretend like we don't have those problems, at least for our own sanity.

At this point, I should ask for your forgiveness, dear readers. Yes, pardon me for reminding you of all the heart-breaking problems we all face in our country and masking them as 'happenings'. It's all quite depressing, I know, but the truth is something has to change. Something has to be said. Something has to be done. Heck, something has to happen to these happenings. Pun intended.

And from these 'happenings', the title of this piece emanates and I thusly ask: 'Who Are We?'.. Yeah that's right, who exactly are we? Where are we going? What are we doing to ourselves? .. Questions. Questions. Questions. Any answer in sight?

You know, to solve a problem, a person mostly has to look inwards. And to that end, I ask you to please STOP right here. Read NO further. Do NOT move on to the next paragraph until you've passed this little test. Hold on. I want you to honestly ask yourself Who You Are in the grand scheme of Nigeria and then find a true answer within you. You've got 2 minutes. Trust me, I'm doing the same right now..

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Okay! Time up! Were you confused much? Did you manage to successfully find a true answer within you? Are you wondering what the hell I'm saying? Don't worry, I understand. I feel the same way too. More on this whole exercise later. You can now move on to the next paragraph.

At the beginning of this piece, we had a summary of the recent happenings in the land. So right now, I think it's appropriate that we list the causes of these happenings. Thankfully, these virulent causes are short and brief. In my opinion, every challenge we're facing as a nation are direct results of:

• Corruption
• Tribalism
• Religion

     Any objections? None? Good.

To be honest, this shouldn't really come as a shocker to anyone who objectively views the whole issue without rose-tinted glasses. The issue of corruption has practically been over-flogged. Even a child born yesterday knows the magnanimity of the corruption that pervades the land.. And yet, no end is seemingly in sight. Scary.

Tribalism, on the other hand, is just the height of stupidity. I've previously written extensively on the issue of tribalism, and in order not to make this a long-winding essay, you can read my thoughts on that particular topic here:  http://www.shadyvillain.blogspot.com/2013/09/tribalism-ethnicity-and-racism-no.html

As for religion, most people who know me know my stand on the issue. I always maintain that common sense should always be applied in every venture we undertake, and that includes whatever faith or religion we may practise. Infact, I daresay that common sense is never more needed than in the concept of faiths and religions. Our current nemesis Boko Haram, for instance, is a direct offshoot of when people are delusional in religion, good or bad, rightly or wrongly. To me, that is just plain retarded. Because to the best of my knowledge, no religion promotes violence {or at least, no religion should}, and if a group of mind-blocked dimwits are gonna hide behind the facade of religion to become bigots and perpetrate acts of terror, then something is definitely wrong somewhere.

Yes, I know the issue of religion is a touchy subject, BUT it has to be touched, and not subjectively. Again, pun intended. However, like I said, I really don't wanna make this article overly dense and winding {I guess it already is! Lol}, so in order to keep it homogeneous, I guess I'll have to find time and write a separate dedicated article on the issue of religion. Sounds about right. {Laziness be damned!}

Ladies and gentlemen, at this juncture, I think I'm rather speechless. So, kindly permit me to go on an 'absolutely crazy' rant. I humbly crave your indulgence, please bear with me. Here goes nothing..

The fact that our country is where it is even in the midst of vast natural riches.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that we've actually been letting various governments get away with this.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that a few hundred bomb-loving men can hold an entire nation of almost 200million people to ransom....is absolutely crazy. The fact that these said men are obviously being funded by some of our so-called 'leaders' within the government.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that bombs are flying everywhere and we are slowly degenerating into another Iraq.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that over 200 innocent girls in school can be brazenly kidnapped right under our noses.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that we don't even know the actual number of the kidnapped girls, almost a month after their kidnapping.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that these human girls have been reduced to mere confusing numbers like 234, 179, 303 etc, as if they are packets of indomie.....is absolutely crazy. Conversely, the fact that there's a possibility that the girls weren't actually kidnapped, and that the whole thing is just a wicked political ploy to paint the president in bad light....is absolutely crazy. The fact that we've practically become the laughing stock of the world....is absolutely crazy. The fact that Nigeria is constantly trending negatively.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that even Chris Brown who's currently in prison, and who's a known woman-beater, has lent his voice to the #BringBackOurGirls movement.....is as crazy as it is uplifting. I mean, who's next? Michael Jackson's ghost?.....That will be more than absolutely crazy.

  Should I go on? Is there more? Absolutely!

The fact that we have a president who appears docile, somewhat weak, and slow to act....is absolutely crazy. {SIDE-NOTE: Please vote for me in 2027. I won't let you down. For real o. And yes, donations are very welcome. Who knows, I could make you a minister or something. Of course, that's if I've not been bombed off the face of the earth by then and Nigeria is still intact.} The fact that most important northern elders and politicians have yet to say or do anything condemning all the abominations happening in their region....is absolutely crazy. The fact that the same old unproductive cargoes of over 30 years ago are still in and around the government and still ruling us....is absolutely crazy. The fact that our president's first name is 'Goodluck', yet the opposite is what always seems to be our portion as a nation.....is absolutely crazy. The fact that our First Lady Patience Jonathan is now.....infact, I don't think I have anything to say on this particular point. Yes o, because #NaOnlyMeWakaCome# so I no wan misyarn because afterall, #There Is God oo#

Okay. I'm outta breath. Rant over. {hopefully}.

There's a saying that goes ''Every nation gets the leaders it deserves''.  And while this saying is usually always proven right, I really hope Nigeria can be an exception to the rule. Having said that though, in my opinion, I actually do think President Jonathan is a 'good' man. Emphasis on the 'good'. To be honest, that's usually my default way of percepting a human. I personally think that there is always a drop of 'goodness' at least, in every human. Even the most hardened criminal can have a relatively 'good' side. I believe man is inherently good, in as much as he can also be evil. Perception is everything.

So yeah, I think the president is primarily a good man. Because I just can't wrap my head around what he {or any other president for that matter} stands to gain if his country is engulfed in flames. He seems calm, kind, gentle and generally harmless ... BUT, just being a 'good person' is NOT enough to pilot the affairs of a unique contraption like Nigeria. And therein lies the problem, because unfortunately for the president, the attributes he lacks {in my opinion}, are what are ultimately necessary in order to be a brilliant leader. Indeed, a large part of being a great leader is having the vision to surround yourself with subordinates who share the same ideology in terms of nation-building. This is absolutely necessary because in government, duties are usually delegated and thus, having the right people in place within the administration is simply non-negotiable. Sadly, when I look at the set-up of our government, that sense of cohesion necessary to move the nation forward, is desperately missing. Our leaders always seem far removed from the reality on ground. Quite terrible ... The bottomline is that to be a great and impactful leader, our president needs to add other layers to his 'goodness' attribute. Be smart, sir. Be charismatic, sir. Be eloquent, sir. Be firm, sir. Be pro-active, sir. Infact, just be gingered, sir.  ... It's really not rocket science. Oh, and please stop telling us that #AmericaWillKnow# because we are really NOT finding that funny.

As I look around at us, I see a nation of beautiful people. A nation of resourceful people. A nation of enduring people who can smile even in the midst of agonizing hardships. Listen up Nigeria, we are a great people. Yes, all of us together.

Oh, how I long for the days when our country will churn out excellent leaders. Excellent leaders who will understand that it's actually a privilege to serve their people. Excellent leaders who will take charge and fill their people with confidence. Excellent leaders. Visionary leaders. Hmmm.. I guess we can only hope, right? Yes, hope. Oh, the audacity of hope. You can assume any reference from that. And yes, you'll be absolutely right.

BUT, then again, we can take the bull by the horns, can't we? Oh yes, we can! Funny enough, we can skip the whole 'hoping' part and get right to the nitty-gritty of the dividends. No doubt, it will be hard and will definitely involve lots of sacrifices, but I guess that comes with the territory. Looking forward, one good news {that's if anything can be classified as good news in our current plight} is that we've got elections at hand. I guess that's an avenue for us to exercise our power and establish a government in our own image. I feel we should try to elect charismatic leaders who are the best for the job. Tribal leanings and religious sentiments should be discarded. Elections are one way of putting things right, so the absolute best man with the right attributes for the job should be chosen irrespective of his tribe or religion. We shouldn't settle for less. Common sense and rationality should be activated ... But then, when I glance at the pool of the current political gladiators from which we are supposed to choose from, I hang my head in shame. NO ONE stands out. All apparently recycled birds of the same corrupt feather. And not to forget, they ALL have Ph.D degrees in election rigging. Oh damn. What a bummer.

So then, what choices do we as a people have? .. A revolution, perhaps? Can we pull it off? Who will lead it? Can we sacrifice to that extent? How are countries who recently went through revolutions currently faring? Countries like Egypt and Libya spring to mind. Can we learn from their examples? Is our hesitancy being masked as caution? Are we ripe as a people to do it? Or should we even care and just do it?

Or wait, perhaps a separation will do? Should we just get it over with already and divide this country into different parts? Can we navigate this tricky endeavour? Can we do it without violence? Can we trust our leaders to go about it peacefully? Will it affect the make-up of our identity to the outside world? How will we arrange it? Will every single tribe go their way or will we still see some minor amalgamations? Can we perform a regional separation correctly? Can we handle having to get a visa to enter Lagos or Abuja, for instance?

Choices. Choices. Choices   ...  Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Jeez, people, we really are at a crossroads at this point of our journey as a nation.

And with crossroads, comes confusion and denial... So wait, am I dreaming? Are we in a movie? Is the whole idea of Nigeria simply a Nollywood film project? Am I a script-writer in this movie? Is the location of this movie based on the terrorism experiences of Afghanistan and Pakistan, and thus, is this movie set in Nigerianistan? Is President Jonathan acting the part of an ailing, inactive Igwe Pete Edochie on his sick bed? Are our major leaders acting the part of the diabolical elders of the village palace who secretly steal yams from the community's farm to enrich their own private baskets? Are our governors acting the part of Osoufia and Mr Ibu who just can't seem to ever do anything good except be very cunning, have big fat over-fed stomachs, and just be generally retarded? Is Patience Jonathan acting the part of the overbearing mother-in-law Patience Ozokwor who is grammatically barking orders here and there to her exasperated daughter-in-law? Is the Chibok school principal acting the part of the exasperated daughter-in-law? Is the Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau acting the part of a bad-boy gangsta Jim Iyke as a cultist leader in a university movie who is terrorizing all the beautiful female students? Are we the masses acting the part of Aki and Pawpaw who are uncared for and left alone to their devices and thus have no choice but to fall into some mischief and then constantly cry about the whole predicament?

         Speechless. I don't even know again.

Oh my, we really, really need to find ourselves... Remember earlier in this article when we had that little exercise and I asked 'Who Are You'? Yeah, well this is the point where you insert your answer and let's see if we can try to make sense of it all...

             Who Are We....?